best health tips ever!

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ...Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

My New HP Number

Hi all,
Take note of my new hp number.
Esp for those whom i missed out from the sms blast...
its 93259173.

Simply Not enough

being a nice person
make sure we're at net/edge/services
sang out loud and raise our hands high during worship
quote bible verses
say amen the loudest during sermon

but is all these enough to make Jesus stands up and say "this is my boy/girl, whom I love; with him/her I am well pleased"?

spiderman kid

i saw this video on tv the other day! i thought it was soooooooo cute! haha. enjoy!



snowpatrol signal fire (:

THE LORD'S BASEBALL GAME

Freddy and the Lord stood by to observe a baseball game. The Lord's team was playing Satan's team.
The Lord's team was at bat, the score was tied zero to zero, and it was the bottom of the 9th inning with two outs. They continued to watch as a batter stepped up to the plate named 'Love.'
Love swung at the first pitch and hit a single, because " Love never fails."
The next batter was named Faith , who also got a single because Faith works with Love.
The next batter up was named Godly Wisdom . Satan wound up and threw the first pitch.
Godly Wisdom looked it over and let it pass: Ball one. Three more pitches and Godly Wisdom walked because he never swings at what Satan throws .
The bases were now loaded. The Lord then turned to Freddy and told him He was now going to bring in His star player.
Up to the plate stepped Grace. Freddy said, "He sure doesn't look like much!"
Satan's whole team relaxed when they saw Grace . Thinking he had won the game, Satan wound up and fired his first pitch. To the shock of everyone, Grace hit the ball harder than anyone had ever seen! But Satan was not worried; his center fielder let very few get by.
He went up for the ball, but it went right through his glove, hit him on the head and sent him crashing on the ground;
the roaring crowds went wild as the ball continued over the fence ... . .. for a home run!
The Lord's team won!
The Lord then asked Freddy if he knew why Love , Faith and Godly Wisdom could get on base but couldn't win the game. Freddy answered that he didn't know why.
The Lord explained, "If your love , faith and wisdom had won the game, you would think you had done it by yourself. Love , Faith and Wisdom will get you on base but only My Grace can get you Home:
'For by Grace are you saved, it is a gift of God; not of works, lest any man should boast." Ephesians 2:8-9
Psalm 84:11, "For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord will give grace and glory; no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly."


"Worry looks around,Sorry looks back,FAITH looks up."

Rose Bud~~

A young, new preacher was walking with an older, more seasoned preacher in the garden one day. Feeling a bit insecure about what God had for him to do, he was asking the older preacher for some advice. The older preacher walked up to a rose bush and handed the young preacher a rosebud and told him to open it without tearing any of the petals.

The young preacher looked in disbelief at the older preacher and was trying to figure out what a rosebud could possibly have to do with his wanting to know the will of God for his life and ministry. But, because of his great respect for the older preacher, he proceeded to try and unfold the rosebud while keeping every petal intact .. . It wasn't long before he realized how impossible this was to do.

Noticing the young preacher's inability to unfold the rosebud without tearing it, the older preacher began to recite the following poem:

It is only a tiny rosebud

A flower of God's design;

But I cannot unfold the petals

With these clumsy hands of mine.

The secret of unfolding flowers

Is not known to such as I.

GOD opens this flower so sweetly,

Then, in my hands, they die.

If I cannot unfold a rosebud,

The flower of God's design,

Then how can I have the wisdom

To unfold this life of mine?

So, I'll trust in Him for leading

Each moment of my day.

I will look to Him for His guidance

Each step of the Pilgrim's way.

The pathway that lies before me

Only my Heavenly Father knows.

I'll trust him to unfold the moments,

Just as He unfolds the rose.

Got this in an email today, and found it quite inspiring.So often we are like the young preacher so impatient... stubborn... unsure... unworthy... on this journey, and we wish to know what is ahead and in store for us before we make a decision and take the next step on this journey. But God is inviting us to trust in Him, and walk each step at a time, because He is our destination, and yet He is walking by our side all the time.

Our Wonderful Mothers~~~

When my children are old enough to

understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will

tell them, as my Mean Mom told me: I loved you

enough . . . to ask where you were going, with whom,

and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you

discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours

while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger,

disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must

learn that their parents aren't perfect.

I loved you enough to let you assume the

responsibility for your actions even when the

penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say

NO when I knew you would hate me for it.

Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm

glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.

And someday when your children are old enough to

understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.

Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the

meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids

ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.

When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches.

And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was

different from what other kids had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all

times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She

had to know who our friends were, and what we were

doing with them. She insisted that if we said we

would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.

We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve

to break the Child Labour Laws by making us work We

had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to

cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash

and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie

awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth, the

whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time

we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had

eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!

Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn

when they drove up. They had to come up to the door

so she could meet them.

Because of our mother we missed out on lots of

things other kids experienced. None of us have ever

been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's

property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated,

honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean

parents just like Mom was.

I think that is what's wrong with the world today.

It just doesn't have enough mean moms!

PASS THIS ON TO ALL THE MEAN MOTHERS YOU KNOW.

(And Their Kids!!!)

at the fun fair..

De parable of the fridge

got this from prayer meeting.

a fridge needs to be filled. to be filled with your dairy products, meats, veggies, eggs and anything-that-you-name-it-you-have-it-kind-of-things. so that the next time you feel hungry, you can take something out and make a meal for yourself!

but when the fridge is empty, there's no food!!! (and all the hungry people screams)
by then, you starve yourself. (and all the hungry people screams again)


just like us, we need to be filled too! to be filled with the word of God, to be filled with the quality quiet time at the feet of our Lord, to be filled with a true heart of worship, etc. so that the next time if you're hungry, be fed by the Lord! for men do not live on bread alone but by the word of the living GOD!

then again, if we're just someone who's just hanging around in church, being happening and all but spiritually empty inside, it's just got no meaning. you're starving yourself dry!!


so today, be filled! :)

Tuck says

FUNNY!

Caller ID

Caller ID

God works in mysterious ways, doesn't He?

Isn't it amazing how God works in our lives!

On a Saturday night several weeks ago, this pastor was working late, and decided to call his wife before he left for home.

It was about 10:00 PM, but his wife didn't answer the phone.

The pastor let the phone ring many times. He thought it was odd that she didn't answer, but decided to wrap up a few things and try again in a few minutes.

When he tried again she answered right away. He asked her why she hadn't answered before, and she said that it hadn't rung at their house.

They brushed it off as a fluke and went on their merry ways.

The following Monday, the pastor received a call at the church office, which was the phone that he'd used that Saturday night.

The man that he spoke with wanted to know why he'd called on Saturday night.

The pastor couldn't figure out what the man was talking about.

Then the man said, "It rang and rang, but I didn't answer."

The pastor remembered the mishap and apologized for disturbing him, explaining that he'd intended to call his wife.

The man said, "That's, OK. Let me tell you my story. You see, I was planning to commit suicide on Saturday night, but before I did, I prayed, 'God if you're there, and you don't want me to do this, give me a sign now.' At that point my phone started to ring. I looked at the caller ID, and it said, 'Almighty God' . I was afraid to answer!"

The reason why it showed on the man's caller ID that the call came from "Almighty God" is because the church that the pastor attends is called Almighty God Tabernacle !! If you believe that God answers prayers then pass this on.

God bless!

READ EACH SENTENCE SLOWLY AND THINK ABOUT IT.

Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.

Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.

Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.

Don't let the past hold you back, you're just missing the good stuff. BEST FRIENDS are the siblings God gives us.

When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your BEST FRIEND will be there.

Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.

Send this on to everyone special in your life, even the people who really make you mad sometimes and to the people whose lives you want to be in!!!

Remember, every minute spent angry is sixty seconds of happiness wasted.

Conversation with God

We've had a few versions of "Conversations with God" in the past year. This is one of the latest:

Conversation with God

God : Hello. Did you call me?
Me: Called you? No.. who is this?
God : This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.
Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something.
God : What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.
Me: Don't know. But I can't find free time. Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.
God : Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.
Me: I understand. But I still can't figure out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.
God : Well I wanted to resolve your! fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.
Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?
God : Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.
Me: why are we then constantly unhappy?
God : Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday.You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.
Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?
God : Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.
Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty. .
God : Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?
God : Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience, their life become better, not bitter.
Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?
God : Yes. In every terms, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.
Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why can't we be free from problems?
God : Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons (to) Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.
Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading..
God : If you look outside, you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.
Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?
God : Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock. Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?
God : Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessings, not what you are missing.
Me: What surprises you about people?
God: when they suffer they ask, "why me?" When they prosper, they never ask "Why me" Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.
Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I can't get the answer.
God: Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.
Me: How can I get the best out of life?
God : Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.
Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.
God : There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.
Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat.
God : Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live. "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that took our breath away!

As jinguo climbs up from his den.

first of all. i'd like to thank all of you for your tender loving smses.

you guys have definitely listened to pastor's message about language of love and put them into practice. thank you very much and therefore i'll pass you guys and give you guys an A1 for that! so that next time your parents ask you why you fail your exams you still can say you scored an A for this ok?


i woke up today at 12+ feeling dizzy and all. plus the fact that im still going to mug for my final year project later at a later time. not very forward looking to uh, but no choice, DEADline is just next thurs. my head is somewhere around the chopping board with 3 other silly heads aka my team mates.

and just as i was sitting on my sofa at the living room, messaging people about the project, fendi(my just-as-cute-as-me dog) went sniffing at the door and began barking. obviously there's some strangers out there la. i thought its some bangla cleaner asking me to keep the shoes away because he's gonna clean the stairways. then i heard some familiar voice "jared! why are you sniffing the door?!"

then ya, saw the TOTALLY AWESOME PEOPLE FROM TOA PAYOH NET LIKE CARMEN, SHARMIEN, BENJAMIN AND JARED standing outside my door thru the peep hole. singing a birthday song for me the moment i opened my door. i was so unglammed, in my singlets and super short shorts and bed head. so touched and embarrassed. and yes! i was EMBARRASSED

last year was in the night, this year in the morning(technically afternoon) what's next for next year?

i really thank you guys for coming down and surprise me. *sniff* i am really touched *snifffss*


oh ya, for those who smsed me. i just want to thank you guys and your names are engraved on this blog for such once in a year honour.

starting from the earliest

1. mattieu(don't be cocky!)
   
2. celine
3. cecilina
4. jamie aka nemo from region 1/2
5. jo wong
6. jireh
7. gladys
   
8. lydia
9. mummy michelle and melody
10. call from sharmien
    
11. johnson
12. matthew B.
13. shi jia
14. grandma coral
15. felice
16. christina
17. call from samuel heng
    
18. jo heng
19. GERMaine
20. yi hui
21. joy
22. nicholas tan yu zhang
23. nic sow (nice try being 2359-ers. hahah)
    

ok, further smses will not be entertained! haha. can u imagine how many times i've edited for all that?! 5 times!?

anyway, THANK YOU GUYS and girls, WITH LOVE!

for those who have not smsed, better repent now
*evil laughter*

I was/were/is/are/am here!

LOL, hello there fellow people. you have been greatly greatly missed! okay i know its just like two days of not seeing you but i am already looking forward to see you guys on this coming saturday. soo many of you would be leaving for church camp soon, bon voyage. enjoy your trip and be super duper recharged and energised yah:: ) may God do a work in you and leave you never the same before. must see that radiant on your face when you come back. haha, and alot of pirated DVDs? LOL! i would surely miss your madness. uhh, but actually when is the actual date you guys are leaving? hmmm.. :: D
its a random post but because im beginning to miss you people, wanting to see you people soon! holidays are coming for me and others in poly, so outing anyone? its been sometime since we went out to have a little fun. give some suggestions and maybe we can all hangout and chill before the stressful school term starts again.
here are some of which is can think of:
ice skating
day-out at east coast
battling out at the great singapore sales:: X
BBQ (oh sohs i miss your special sauces!)
volley ball at sentosa (suggested by felice)
others:_____________(please specify)
so so so let me know firstly if you all want an activity and if so, what:: )
anyway, take care till we meet again yah. LOVE YOU DEE'ERS! God bless<3.

*waves goodbye!*